I'm aware it’s a sneaky cancer that doesn’t let itself known until it’s too late. I'm aware that the “lucky” ones who discover it early, usually discover it on accident. I'm aware it has the ability to - in an instant - swoop in and steal the life of the person you love most in the world, taking your life along with it.
Read MoreI didn’t understand then why I craved other people’s stories of grief. It felt wrong to want the dark moments. But what I know now is that it wasn’t just about being a voyeur into someone else’s tragedy. It was about holding space for someone else’s pain and then, ultimately, feeling less alone in my own.
Read MoreLosing your partner is one fo the most - if not the most - traumatizing loss a person can endure. But with the loss of the person comes so many other losses, most unseen to the outside world - called secondary losses.
Read MoreBirthdays are strange days for those of us who have experienced profound loss. They are filled with this duality of deep sadness over the absence of a loved one and also deep gratitude over the privilege to live another year. Celebrating another trip around the sun, while the person we lost remains frozen in time.
Read MoreIt is inevitable we will show up in the wrong way and say the wrong thing. That’s part of being human. But that doesn’t mean we stop trying.
Read MoreI was a mourning widow and I was a 30-something with a desire to be touched. The latter felt like a betrayal to the former. I felt like a horrible human being and an even worse wife.
Read MoreGrief Chats Episode 1 is here! Find out why in the world we wanted to host a video series about traumatic grief and widowhood. Who are we anyways? What are our stories? How did we become young widows and survivors of traumatic loss?
Read MoreThis is grief. What is happening in our world. In our communities. In our homes. It’s called grief.
Collectively, we are mourning the loss of our planned future while at the same time, being isolated from the community we need.
Read MoreIn some capacity we’ve been preparing for my dad’s death for years - too many close calls and brushes with fate. But nothing prepares you for the actual day of losing a parent. And in the early morning hours yesterday, my tough and stubborn dad, Harvey Miles, finally succumbed.
Read MoreAnd I’m learning it’s not just for those who have been visited by the Grim Reaper instead of Jolly St. Nick. Holidays are hard for a lot of us. Whether you’ve lost someone, or you’re struggling with your mental or physical health, or everything in your life appears perfect but you just don’t feel the joy, it can be difficult to cope during the holidays.
Read MoreHolidays. ’Tis the season to be jolly, right? The season of parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting and caroling out in the snow?
But sometimes, the holidays aren't always merry and bright. Sometimes, I feel less like decking the halls and more like Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Read MoreHow to you buy a gift for someone who just lost the love of their life? Or a parent who lost a child? Or for someone recently diagnosed with cancer?
You shift the focus of the gift.
You don’t send a gift with the intention of eliminating their grief (you can’t). You send it as a way to say, “I acknowledge what you’re going through, this totally sucks, and I’m here.”
Read MoreI carry these moments of grief just like I carry these moments of love - they both slow me down and propel me forward. The heaviness of those moments are still there, several years later. But so is a new fortitude. A new strength I didn’t have in previous years.
Read MoreI recently had a conversation with a friend who had lost his wife last year. He asked me about my experience “running away” and when looking back if it had ended up being the right choice for me. He was craving something similar but, understandably, scared to make a move.
Read MoreI’ve been having a lot of conversations about power - specifically the internal power we all possess. As I dream up future plans and ambitions for the Forced Joy Project (and subsequently ask myself why I am not doing more to chase those dreams), a wise woman recently told me that we are more afraid of our own power than of the possibility of failure.
Read MoreRecently I was asked a question by a friend: “how do you handle the fear of growing old alone.” I gave her a quick response and we moved on in our conversation, but the question stuck with me and I wanted to dive a little deeper into that fear - and the complex feelings it brings up.
Read MoreToday was supposed to be our 10 year wedding anniversary. We were supposed to renew our vows on the beach in Northern Michigan.
Read MoreEarlier this summer, I spent 5 days backcountry camping throughout the Porcupine Mountains in the Upper Peninsula. Over those 5 days, as I struggled with the weight of my pack, the pains, the moments of joy, and the elements, I realized how similar a trek in the wilderness is to the grief journey.
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