Helpful Things to Say to a Griever
We talk a lot about what not to say to someone grieving. But earlier this week, someone asked me for some helpful things to actually say.
Here is a list from the experts (my Instagram community of grievers) of 20 things that were actually helpful or that you wish someone had said while experiencing grief or loss.
“Take as much time as you need.”
“I don’t know your pain but I am here to listen and try to understand.'“
“No need to reply, but I am going to keep checking in.”
“Be gentle with yourself.”
“This is unfair and you don’t deserve this.”
“There is a meal on your porch.”
“They were loved.”
“I’m coming over.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I will remember them.”
Ask about their grief experience (and don’t try to fix it!).
“Tell me a story about them.”
“Be selfish right now.”
“It pisses me off that you have to go through this.”
“This made me think of them…”
“I am here, whether you need to laugh or cry.”
“You don’t need to have everything figured out right now.”
“No need to say anything, but I am here to sit in your pain with you.”
“However you feel is ok.”
“I’m so sorry.”
And remember; you can say the wrong thing - and you will (it’s inevitable!), but what’s important is that you keep showing up. Like most things, grief looks different for everyone. What may work for one person may not work for someone else. But keep trying, keep learning, and keep showing up with love.
Anything else you would add to this list?