Grieving? It's OK to Skip the Holidays

The first Christmas after Brad died, I left.

I woke up and headed to the airport. I considered skipping my flight to spend the day getting drunk in the airport bar with nameless strangers who didn’t know my husband was dead.

The idea of celebrating Christmas without Brad was too much. The idea of being in a room full of happy people attempting to cheer me up was also too much.

So I avoided.

Since then, each year has looked different. Some years have new things to grieve - like the death of my dad. And others have new things to celebrate - like the birth of new little ones. Traditions have shifted, season after season.

The holidays - like life - continue, whether we are grieving or not.

And it’s up to us how we choose to spend this time.

You may feel pressure from well-intentioned people to “get in the spirit,” but oftentimes those people would rather see you fake a smile than feel the truth.

Pull out the box of ornaments…or don’t. Sing the carols…or don’t. Get in the spirit…or don’t.

Feel your feelings and follow your own way. Surround yourself with loved ones at a family gathering or surround yourself with nature on top of a mountain.

It’s ok if you want to skip the holidays this year. It’s ok if you want to run away. Honor where you’re at, in this moment.

You can always do something different next year.