Brad's 40th

Tomorrow is Brad’s birthday. It would have been his 40th.

To celebrate, I’m here in Montana, spending the week with our best friends and family.

Like most milestones and momentous events, it’s complicated and a full pendulum of emotions. It’s a week with lots of highs - celebrating his twin brother, embracing this precious time with the #frostpack, exploring the beauty of Glacier National Park, and blending a new partner into the mix.

And it’s also a week of one significant low - the unfillable hole that is the absence of Brad.

In a different life - the one where Brad is still alive - I imagine we would have been celebrating this week differently (golfing around Ireland if Brad had has way). But I also imagine - as I’m here with his his best friend, his wombmate, his sister, their spouses, their kids, and a couple buddies, all piled into one crowded space - that maybe this week wouldn’t have looked all that dissimilar. Sure, maybe some details would be different, but overall, I think we got it right.

Because more than anything, Brad valued time with those he loved. He valued deep talks around a bonfire and early morning discussions over coffee. He valued dance parties and boat beers. He valued connection.

I never know how to best honor Brad in his death - always wanting to do more and accepting that nothing will feel sufficient in celebrating the full enormity of his life.

But what I do know is that being here, surrounded by those we love, and celebrating his twin brother is where we’re supposed to be.

So here we are. Perfect. Imperfect. Together. Exactly what he would have wanted.